33 Week Update

Just 7 short weeks to go! So much has happened baby wise since I last updated. Where to start...let's see, first, I'm huge. I'm uncomfortable, but not more so than a month ago. That's good news!

Baby girl weighs around 4.5 pounds. It feels more like 25 pounds. If you want to know what it feels like, strap a bag of potatoes to your belly and try to do normal things. Brush your teeth. You have to step back from the sink because the belly is in the way. When you spit, half of it goes in the sink, the other half on you. If you are lucky, you notice it before you get to work. Also, try lying on your back (still with potatoes strapped on) in the middle of your bed. Put a body pillow on either side of you (king sized pillows are what I use). This is how I wake each morning. Now try getting up. This is what Graham and I have coined "the dying cock roach". I often need assistance to get up!

My newest trick is putting on tights. It's a combo of two methods. The "dying cockroach" and what I call "humpty dumpty". With potatoes still strapped to your belly, sit on the edge of the bed. Try putting on tights as you normally would. Roll them up and put them on your left foot. No problem. Now how on earth are you going to reach that right foot? This is where the humpty dumpty dance comes in. I roll forward and try to reach the right foot and fail. I don't fall off the bed yet, but that's coming. I roll back on my back and put my feet up in the air and try to reach the right foot (while tights are still tethered to the left foot). I perform a little of the dying cock roach. I finally get the hose over my right foot and kick myself up. I take a break (no more than 15 minutes, but I'll probably have to tinkle twice in this time). Then I pull up my tights using the humpty dumpty method. I've only done this twice, but tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I'll be wearing a dress. If you see me and I'm worn out, it's not because I'm pregnant, it's because I'm warning tights. Maybe I'll get Graham to videotape it and we'll be the newest YouTube sensation.

Boring stuff: 32 week appointment went well. Measuring 2 cm/2 weeks ahead, but nothing to worry about. Heart rate is great. Weight is fine (I don't ask and they don't bring it up).

Graham and I have successfully graduated from Northside Hospital's Childbirth Prep class. This is a take it or leave it class. If you don't do it, you regret it and wish you had. If you do it, you regret it and wish you hadn't. While this could be a long post in itself, I'll be brief. Week One: Giggling. The teacher used lots of scientific words which we aren't mature enough for. Graham had to learn how to make me relax. What a joke. Rubbing my legs, stroking my cheek, and talking an inch from my face will not help me relax. Week Two: Shock and Awe. We watched birth videos. She only told us afterwards that these were all natural births. Either way, we had nightmares and were horrified it was too late to back out. Week Three: We can get through this. We watched the C-section video (thank goodness it was animated) and got to go to different stations to practice breathing and how to get through contractions. I wish I had pictures of that. Oh, the best part was our teacher sitting on the floor pretending to push. Complete with sound effects. I think I smacked Graham 2-3 times for comments during this part. Despite our immaturity, we got our certificate of graduation. We are cleared to have a baby!